Unplanned Traditions. Year 2 Flew By. Sunsets, Tears, Smiles. Bring It Year 3.

And just like that… 2 years Mr. and Mrs. Kimmel, 6 years of knowing and growing.

I find doing this annual interview on 9/2, allows me to relive that same joy captured here by @HalfFullPhotgraphy (Joey and April)

I find doing this annual interview on 9/2, allows me to relive that same joy captured here by @HalfFullPhotgraphy (Joey and April)


Happy Anniversary, Jase, if that is any indication of the speed at which they continue to go, we’ll need 99 more and it will seem like 20.

Some of why it seems to fly by may be the commitments we hold in addition to our marriage. but if I am honest, that (us) comes first now, and not in years past.

And on the eve of year two, beginning year 3, he’s still clean, and we are both so true to who we were as individuals but support one another’s things, but that seems to work so far for us. I love that. In fact, impromptu vows, I speak better from the heart, I vowed to

“not to give always all our earnings or your commissions to charitable causes”.

It was so true.

The rest of September looks like this, and I’m sure, in person or afar he’s there cheering, so patiently as I do my things, too. You are welcome to join all are any, because it fills my heart, and that just gives more love to give us all.

Outside of the 9-5, some months Community is almost a second job, and I love it.

Sept 7th: Fitbit Local ….LA bit outside of my San Diego comfort zone, beyond honored and exited to join Mike Sherbakov at the first ever Double Hitter, a special Fitbit Local  @ LA LIVE. It’s FREE and it’ HERE

Sept 15: The Fitbit Local San Diego we are excited about @ One Paseo in Del Mar. LIVE DJ, bootcamp, yoga, the new Versa @, special perks from fitness studios including a tour and class from Vibe Flow Yoga

Sept 21st: All the San Diego things

-        1PM Make A Wish Cornhole Tournament: HERE We joined Jenni Haugh’s Emerging Leader’s Council Fundraising fun and we’ll be practicing our corn-hole, come play with us!

-        9 AM The annual One Love Movement Yoga Festival. I rattled off this charity in my vows, and it was our first donation as the Kimmels, as Kim was our yoga instructor on Wednesday nights pre wedding.

-        7AM American Heart Association Heart walk. I passed the baton to some great Emcees and hosts, check out the yoga, because we’ll be getting ready for Make A Wish Corn-hole, but it’s a great walk in Balbao Park!

Sept 29th: - So honored to be a YES to EmCee’ing a the BeWell Fitness Fair to benefit Rady’s Children’s Hospital’s first ever in the country mental health center (preventative and supportive) in San Diego.

was a smaller start last year, and I think it’s because those of us who like to move didn’t really understand what’s coming to San Diego, a center to help so many youth, with issues many adults have today.

Last year I joined a bit later in the game, when I heard the purpose, and my hope is that our community will support in big ways this 9/28!

TICKETS HERE: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/bewell-fitness-fair-tickets-62677167094

Tee and Sher.jpg


When I learned things like this, I couldn’t just let the event go on and wish them the best:

“Teens in San Diego suffer the highest rate of suicide in the state”. Wow. Help is coming and this is our responsibility.

Tee’s teaching, Pam’s teaching, and my hope is we can show up as a community to move, and create ripples, honored to have the job to welcome you and ensure it’s a great time on the mic.

Love to see you, this one is close to my heart. HERE.

8 PM, pauses “Loopers” a golf movie about caddying. He’s very into what he’s into, but we had a heart filled weekend of friends and special house guests, hikes, beach, dinners…so last but not least, our very own tradition (feel free to borrow, it’s kinda fun, like the Newlywed game but every year!).

Last year I thought it would be cute to interview my husband (Jason) about what it’s been like to have been married a year. Only rules:

       There is no wrong answers

-        It’s rapid fire, just whatever comes to mind

-        Ill answer too,  but haven’t had a second to think about my answers, as we’ve been with great friends

Know what transpired because of it? A live Christmas tree last season and a puppy. You guys know Palmer. Who woulda thought, so deep, I know. I was thinking the answer to “what’s would you like to see in year two” may have been a family, nope guys he wanted a real Christmas tree. It was beautiful and fun by the way.

So, maybe I make it our own little tradition, maybe I’ll share, maybe I won’t, maybe just My Dad will read it, and that’s ok, because it’s fun for us to do, maybe it resonates with you, inspires, helps with the fact no relationship is perfect all the time, or it just makes you smile. Most important, ll have one to read each year, for us.

So, Jason…

 

Q: What are you most proud as a couple of from year 2?

Jase: We are more patient. Wait, wait, life is getting more complex (dog, responsibilities) with more complications we are handling more weight, well.

Sheri: I am proud of the support we shared through family members needing our time and love, some passed, some struggled, some celebrated, and we let the know they are loved, and we did it together.

 

Q: Do you remember what I wore on our first date?

Jase: Do you remember the wine I brought?

Sheri: Fair enough, next question.

 

Q: If you had to guess one household chore I wished you cared more about, what is your guess?

Jase: How I load dishwasher, that’s a lay-up.

Sheri: The dishwasher is correct, it’s OK to put them all the way in the back, to the front, in OCD fashion.

It does not change because we got married, it was a little quirk before** Good news I’m so grateful for a dishwasher!

 

Q: What was your favorite memory of year 2:

Jase: “Hmmm (buys time), great question babe.” A weekend in Carmel / US Open.

Sheri: Besides a full night sleep last week (enter Palmer has to pee)? Short solo trips and with friends, Carmel, Palm Springs, stuff like that.

 

Q: What is one thing you’re proud of me for doing/being this year?

Jase: “For being a great Mom to Palmer (our 10 month old dog)” He can get in his teepee when you say.

Sher: (He guessed “lowering my golf handicap?”)  Me: “speaking at your Nanny’s celebration of life and handling the not as great golf days well and still appreciate being out there.”

 

Q: What was most challenging for you personally in year 2?

Jase: Palmer’s hair shedding. (I just laughed so loud!). Work, Commercial Real estate is challenging.

Sheri: Shifting from fitness to my health, taking out racing/running, and putting my own immediate family higher up on the priority list. Thanks for the support J, for making me feel beautiful and any shape, and being so supportive of my family time.

How cute are they, really though? Melt my heart!

How cute are they, really though? Melt my heart!

 

Q: Most hilarious moment in year 2?

Jase: The amount of times I have to get the ball out from under the couch for Palmer (the dog).

Sheri:  When you text me “walked and pooped” but you mean the dog and don’t say. I laugh “Yay, go Jase, what about Palmer?!”

 

Q: Any hopes for year 3? Personally, or as a “we”

Jase: Well, to be parents.

Sheri: You are so kind so my hope is that you live the life you want, and ask yourself “is this something I want to do, or am I doing it for approval, guilt, to be kind, etc?”.

 

Q: If there is one thing you hope your spouse knows, what is it?

Jase: The difference between a pitching wedge and sand wedge as you always ask “Which one goes further again?”.

Sheri:  My cell phone number, just in case you need it in emergency! Ha! That’s the age we love in.

Really – not to be stuck on a timeline, and being Ok with passing on things if not the best time, (trips, parties, dinners) there will be another opportunity.

 

Q: Jase asked if he gets to ask a question.

Sheri: Sure, of course, what is your question?

Jase: Can we do Spring cleaning? (it’s fall by the way) Do you know of that carpet cleaner we had before?” He is not kidding, we use these times to talk life, because anniversary aside, it takes two who want the job, every day.

He’s still clean. I still do some community things and try my best to lend more time to being a good wife/partner, but we are who we are, who we were, and that does not change, just improves.

Happy 2nd, start to 3 Jason, thank you for loving (and sharing) all of me. Love you more (and as much as Fall sunsets!)

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Palmer Kimmel. It's No Secret, We Added A Dog In 2018, So National Dog Day Life Lessons

Well, because it’s National Dog Day…

and boy does an 11 lbs of fluffy cuteness run a lot of our day.



Even before I knew what creating a vision of my life really meant, (thanks lululemon circa day 2012 for putting me through formal goal setting), that vision included a King Charles Cavalier. I wasn’t one of those people who had one growing up, but definitely of those people who stops everyone with one to ask 100 intrusive questions. They ALL love their KCCs and most times tell you all about he or she.

Don’t get me wrong, in my 20’s or even early 30s up to now, and even some days, still had not place taking on the responsibility of taking care of an animal and dedicating the time it deserved and needs. I consult, but it’s still a lot of running around some days, so boy has this been a work-adjustment, but in good ways too.

As life evolved, and Jason and I talked about the fact our life was pretty great as is, nothing is really missing. I wanted to be sure he was on board, and I’d never hear “well, you wanted a dog”. I waited until it was a “we” as it effects his life too, not being about to be gone all day without thinking of something else, or traveling on a whim.

So what did have I learned and am still being taught:

All dogs are beautiful

Puppies can never have too many kisses or eye brows that are too long. We’ll start with that. I had work photos already planned, turned out he’s cuter to shoot. Those eyebrows!

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No Need To Rush.

I checked out 3 breeders and and the one I went with was thorough, but that says to me she cared, and she went over what I should ask for in anyone saying they have King Charles. My interview was top clearance. I was only able to visit at hours good for the pups and she had a very extensive training for me, prior to him coming home, to set up for a good transition. I mean look at these faces:

Can you pick out Palmer. Me neither. Kidding. He has a spot on his head called a “Queen’s kiss”, that helps.

Can you pick out Palmer. Me neither. Kidding. He has a spot on his head called a “Queen’s kiss”, that helps.

You become “Those people” 

DasAgooBoi (That’s a good boy)

You develop a ridiculous dog voice. Like a baby voice but not even to a person. Just me?

You also refer to yourself in the third person and have full conversations with a dog. Super awesome.

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Really awesome dog fail, on a conference call and said “want to come upstairs with Mom”

Naughty Palmer (or bad us)

Dogs that misbehave only have learned from you (or us) so I had to chew on that. He’s probably telling us something. Yelling “no” not the best approach, etc. So next thing I learned…

lamby. Used in OUr home As A RARE Treat. a gift from CArDIFF CAPO - the Dog We Tested the Waters Dog Sitting. Great little guy.

lamby. Used in OUr home As A RARE Treat. a gift from CArDIFF CAPO - the Dog We Tested the Waters Dog Sitting. Great little guy.

 Ask an expert.

I wasn’t just suddenly graced with knowing how to raise a puppy the best for our lifestyle and for him. So one of my friends referred us to a trainer (she’s tough too) who specializes in behavior therapy. It’s helped immensely. Jason and I are almost trained. Funny, but true.

We trust Emily, who serves OC and SD counties: https://www.thedoglistener.net/. She has great videos on her website. Ask your friends who have had a great person, referrals are so helpful.

First walk attempt. He wouldn’t budge. You mean they don’t come knowing how to walk on a leash?

First walk attempt. He wouldn’t budge. You mean they don’t come knowing how to walk on a leash?

It’s not a child. (or a person)

People actually remind me this. It’s been good practice, keeping me home, meal prepping, caring for it so much you can’t believe it yourself. Guess which parent is going to get up at 4AM if a little one cries. Hint, it’s not Jason. And that is A-Okay. Love = you really don’t mind. Sure use my hand as a pillow, no problem.

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It slowed me down. A-lot

We walk in place of running after work. If Palmer needs to go out, play, that takes time, and that’s a blessing. I was working on slowing down for other goals and parts of that vision.

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Ego Check

Dog - Bag - Hand. . I

f you forget the second one. You are left with Dog - Hand, and that is not good. Do I leave it? do I borrow a bag? Don’t forget the bag. Picking up poop = ego checked.

Stand outside for a really long time in the rain in March “waiting” so you can say “good potty”. Ego checked again. If you’re in a hurry it will for sure take extra long.

He pees on his leg. Doesn’t phase him. Washing your dog in the sink daily really balances a nice long work day. Ha.

 Close Call (s). Yep. Plural.

That time we had a little too much fun with lamb-chop (we as in Palmer) and had to call the 24/7 vet and wonder if he needed help. Boy Problems. Or that time, we thought he ingested a Tylenol. Turns out those fluffy ears hide lots of things and false alarm.

They Don’t Shed

That’s a lie. See below. Buy stock in Swiffer.

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Good things take time

Puppies, and all things. Palmer is born on 11/11/18, and I had let a few litters go by and continued waiting, but that date totally made me push it, it was never going to be an idea time! Waiting for a smaller Cav, (he’s only 11. 5 lbs.) but they are usually 14-20 lbs. We travel north a lot so he is able to come (case in point he met some airline attendants and was really excited about it).  

GoldeN Girls + Palmer.

GoldeN Girls + Palmer.

 Giving

It’s important to me, as he was not adopted at shelter (many friends frown upon it, but route for us, and he’s healthy) to also give. He’s enrolled in a puppy class to visit Senior Living homes, to be pet by people who don’t have visitors. It gives him a “job”. We practice.

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Love.

I didn’t know I could love an animal so much. Cheesy and so true. He’s pretty great, and melts my heart to see Jase with him too. I think he may trot off with anyone who tells him he’s cute or has a treat, but I like to think he loves me most, too.

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Game changer. Happy National Dog Day. We heart Palmer (after Arnold Palmer, the golfer, (see the blog on how to get husband on board to things)

10 Life Quotes (That If Applied) Will Change The Way You See The World.

I subscribe to Medium. You can too. It’s HERE. I did not write what’s below, but it was in my daily Medium, I read it, enjoyed it, and am passing it along.

10 Life Quotes That (If Applied) Will Change the Way You See The World Forever

Ayodeji AwosikaFollow

Aug 21 · 11 min read

Why do we love life quotes so much?

I think I have the answer. Life quotes have a way of piercing through the b.s. and noise surrounding us. Life quotes are the Gordian knots that cut through that noise and reveal the essence of life we know deep down but tend to forget.

I’m a writer, which means I love quotes. But I also understand how simultaneously insightful and useless they can be. You can do one of two things with a quote — use it as inspirational fluff to post on Instagram or use the insight to change your life. The wisdom of quotes is extremely powerful when applied.

I’ve collected quotes I come back to time and time again when my life isn’t aligned, I need a reminder, or simply want to reflect on the beauty of life itself.

I could easily look up some quotes and slap them into a blog post. Instead, I’m only going to use quotes I can recall from memory, talk about how I’ve used them in my life, and provide ways for you to do the same.

The Triviality Trap

“We’re all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn’t. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.” — Charles Bukowski

Big challenges don’t trip us up. Little petty annoyances cumulatively throw our lives off-balance. Office politics at work, your commute, errands, meaningless news, gossip, tiny bouts of envy, social media, so it goes. Think of how much time you spend on meaningful activities vs. the amount of time you spent letting life’s trivialities swallow you whole.

You know what I love most about writing? I get to escape the noise. When I enter that flow state, I get to retreat from the chaos of life and do something that (to me at least) means something. I build my life around the ethos of increasing my meaningful time and decreasing the trivialities I have to deal with.

Life isn’t always overtly tragic. Sometimes it’s tragic simply because you waste it and don’t realize that until it’s way too late.

Which reminds me…

Reverse This Equation

“You are mortal in everything you fear and immortal in everything you desire” — Seneca

You think you have time. You don’t. You’re afraid of death, yet you act like you have unlimited time to live. Humans are weird. We tend to reverse the useful truth to suit our egos. The useful truth I live by is the reverse of Seneca’s quote.

I often find myself working like I’ll die tomorrow. This actually causes me to fear death less. I’m guessing that within a few years I’ll reach the point where I’d be okay if I died. Give me a few more books, milestones, moments of meaning, and memories with people I love. I’ll be good.

Granted, I don’t want to die. But you fear death less the more fully you live in the present. Seneca also says “Life is long if you know how to use it.” I do what I love almost every day. Time feels like “house money” after I’ve done that.

In your case, why not reverse the mortality equation? Why not live like you’ll die tomorrow? Because you’re afraid.

It’s useless to be afraid of death because you can’t control when it happens. But you can control how you use your time right now.

Don’t Sit on the Sidelines, Do This Instead

“If you see fraud and do not say fraud, you are a fraud.” Nassim Taleb

I spent a great deal of time talking about all the b.s. society feeds us. You’ve been conditioned and trained to feel helpless. Societies emerge to stifle the mobility of individuals out of necessity and people fall for it every day.

They believe the news, which is about 99 percent propaganda. They blindly follow the status quo. We collectively allow these institutions to arbitrarily divide us even though we all more or less want the same things from life — love, family, joy, meaningful work, simple.

More and more, I’m trying to remove the fluff from my writing and talk straight. My new book and my recent writing have been centered around the idea that most of the beliefs you’re fed are absolute nonsense and that individual responsibility isn’t an ideal to live up to, but your only choice, because the people you’re hoping will save you are fraudulent. 100 percent of them.

Speaking of fraudulent societal notions…

Never, Ever, Ever Let This Happen To You

“Remember this. The world wants to assign you a role. And once you accept that role, you’re doomed.” Robert Greene

Have you accepted the role society gave you? Are you free? Do you knowhow to think for yourself and make your own decisions? Be honest. No one else is around.

I love the show Weeds. And the theme song for the show perfectly encapsulates the mentality we fall prey to:

And the people in the houses
All went to the university,
Where they were put in boxes
And they came out all the same,
And there’s doctors and lawyers,
And business executives,
And they’re all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

(Written by Malvina Reynolds)

Is this really the American dream? A little box on the hillside? Is this what you’re working so hard for? Consider trading your life purpose to keep up with the Jones’s, watch Netflix at night, have two days a week to f*** off, and a few weeks of vacation to cope with it all.

I know my route isn’t for everybody. And I’m also certain some people are happy living in little boxes. A lot of people aren’t, though. They want to break out but they don’t know how. Are you one of these people? I’ve written multiple books about the process, but the short answer is to realize that you’ve basically been conditioned to have these beliefs and the effort to unlearn them can be just as rigorous as the conditioning itself.

Get to work.

Seriously…You Really Do This?

“You want the praise of people who kick themselves every 15 minutes. The praise of people who despise themselves?” — Marcus Aurelius

I love thinking this one through because when you do, it makes you realize how absurd it is to care what other people think.

Think about how preoccupied with yourself you are. Extremely.

You put yourself at the center of the universe constantly. You wrestle with your inner critic and doubt yourself, constantly. Not a day (maybe not even an hour) goes by where something doesn’t remind you of your inadequacy. Sometimes you can be straight up neurotic.

Everybody is like this, yet somehow we imagine everyone else to be secure and confident people judging us from their ivory towers.

Nobody knows what the hell we’re doing. As the infamous Kanye West said, “We’re all self-conscious I’m just the first to admit it.”

When I get a negative comment on one of my blog posts I remember the person leaving that comment as an insecure human being. Not insecure because they’re leaving the comment, but insecure as a default state of being.

Essentially, I constantly remind myself of the inner workings of other people’s minds to mitigate the fear of embarrassment, criticism, rejection and so on. Part of playing the game of life is realizing that it is a game. I work hard, but I don’t take myself that seriously because…no one else does.Neither should you.

The Recipe for Success in 2019 and Beyond

“Following your genuine intellectual curiosity is better than following whatever makes money.”

“The internet has massively broadened the space of possible careers. Most people don’t understand this.” — Naval Ravikant

I get paid a full time living to talk about things I’m interested in. It’s wild. Not only is it wild, but it would’ve been ten times harder for me to do so just a decade ago.

This ties into the quotes above about society trying to teach you to be helpless. It’s really hard to have an excuse for your career failings in 2019. It just is.

You can publish a book on Amazon, take classes from Yale and Harvard for free, start a Youtube channel and become a millionaire before you hit puberty, learn to code for no upfront fee at places like Lambda School,create an e-commerce business for basically zero money, freelance, I really could go on and on.

The internet is desperately begging you to level up, but you won’t. Why? Because you’re stuck in a mental prison built on the industrial and corporatist mental model. Those institutions are dead, totally. They just don’t know it yet.

Are you going to be on the right side of history? It depends…

Are You Ready to Understand the World?

“The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you’re inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.” — Morpheus

Not only do people not desperately want to escape the status quo, but they’ll also fight to the death to prop it up. I used to try to convert these people until I realized some people can’t be saved.

I don’t have arguments with these people. Instead, I just live my life in the hopes of setting an example for others and talk to the people who are ready to hear what I have to say.

The devil you know is better than the one you don’t. Again, tying into the above quote about trivialities tripping people up. Most people don’t suffer dramatic setbacks from facing tough challenges. No, they slowly fall into complacency until it’s cemented into their personality.

As much as some people don’t enjoy their circumstances, they’re not dissatisfied enough to change.

I’ve told the story many times about the exact day I decided to change my life. In the room of my shoddy apartment, during a time where I was hopeless, broke, and completely stuck, I stood up and screamed at the top of my lungs, “I’m not fucking living like this anymore!!!”

I was genuinely fed up. I realized that if I was going to live the type of life I wanted to live, it would have to be on my own terms. It’s that simple.

Does your worldview suit you? Is it working out for you? How does your model of reality affect your daily life? Are you content to live in the matrix or do you want to take the red pill?

It won’t be comfortable. Neo went from his cubicle and apartment to being cold, naked, and afraid aboard a ship traversing an apocalyptic plane. But he also became the hero.

You can, too.

Turn This Into Fuel

“We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.” — Tyler Durden

You fell for the fairy tale hook, line, and sinker. I think back to when I was in college. Everyone was super excited about the future. Society paved the road they’d glide on with grace.

The ages of 22–25 are where you see the last vestiges of hope and excitement for about 90 percent of people. The fork in the road splits. Many choose a route that begins to slowly piss them off. A few take the road less traveled. Which one have you taken?

Look, the point of this isn’t to attack anyone. I’m just asking you, personally, honestly, bluntly, if you’re pissed off about the way your life has turned out. Do you feel lied to, duped, hoodwinked? If you do feel that way, good.

Use it. Positive emotions are overrated. The bulk of my motivation came from discontent.

Maybe you won’t be a movie god or a rockstar, but I bet you can do a hell of a lot more than what you’re doing right now. I also bet you believe the same.

Don’t Be Insane

“Madness is rare in individuals, but in groups, states, and societies, it’s the norm” — Friedrich Neitzche

I feel a little bit bad for people who are caught up in this mass hysteria based on a war between two arbitrarily divided and eerily similar political parties (check out this article about people who pretend to hate each other on T.V. all partying in the Hamptons together), but it’s interesting to watch.

Human beings are tribal animals. We’ve evolved group cohesion strategies to survive. Social media companies, the news, and the shrewd culture war generals know this and use it to cause groupthink on steroids.

Let me ask you, why do you care about “your team” so much? What does your team do for you exactly? No, really, I’d like to know.

This thinking ties in with this quote from Mark Twain:

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

Do you think for yourself or have you been indoctrinated to think a certain way?

Here’s an easy tell. If you tell me your stance on a hot-button issue, say, gun control, and I can correctly guess every single one of your opinions on all the other hot-button issues, you’re not a critical thinker. You’re a mascot.

Thinking for yourself is difficult and uncomfortable because you subject yourself to alienation. But which would you rather be? Alone and free? Or singing kumbaya with the fellow members of your insane ideological cult?

The choice is yours.

Run Your Own Race

“If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will think it’s stupid.” Albert Einstein

Let me lighten up the tone here a little bit. Without knowing you, I genuinely think you’re capable of doing something great with your life. What that something is? I don’t know. Many factors come into play — your strengths, your circumstances, your current career, your belief systems, so it goes.

You could say that some people are genuinely dealt a shit hand. And you’d be right. I honestly don’t know what to do for those people and can admit that. But for most of us — the working to middle-class folks who maybe just made the wrong decisions — it’s possible to construct a life that aligns with who you really are. Not the “you” society wants you to be. Not the “you” that does things you hate in exchange for, well, nothing truly valuable.

You can align your life with the “you” that you once knew. The one that was excited and curious about life. The one that loved to write, paint, crack jokes, make paper airplanes, do math problems for fun (yes, these people exist), pretend to be a broadcaster on Sunday afternoons, whatever.

You have a skill, a talent, a perfectly suited spot for you in this universe. Finding it and doubling down on it for the rest of your life is pretty much the only success tip you need.

It's Not What You Say, It's What You Do -- Unless It's Recorded

2.4.19 - Picked up the newest member of our family.

Palmer Kimmel - King Charles Cavalier, at 12 weeks old. I had wanted one since as long as I can remember, or been an adult on my own. The amount of appreciate I have from waiting is not describable.

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2.5.19 - I bought 4 newspapers at 7/11 for the dog mentioned above to “relieve” himself, on the paper, as apparently he was trained to prefer this to white pads. It’s rainy outside, so indoors it is for now. Needless to say, I had not purchased a newspaper in years, now I had 4. Surprised to learn they are $1.85 and love that people still read non-digital news.

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The irony - in 2013 I had filled out an pink index card with some life goals and visions for myself that included:

  1. “Be recognized for Corporate Wellness and Health (not FITNESS) in both the UT an d San Diego Magazine”

  2. “Have a King Charles Cavalier (dog)”

** There was a husband and other things in there too, but said husband now, at the time, was a just a couple dates in.

So, 2.5.19 there I was buying the papers for our new 1 - day- in -dog to literally pee on and there I was in the Health Section. Go figure.

READ IT HERE

Isn’t timing funny?

And you know what?…

I saved one for myself, one to mail my parents to say thank you for the patience, and then I lined his little play area, and let him use them, because, the goal wasn’t really to be in the paper, the goal was every organization and wellness meeting I visited, supported, or consulted for. It was the experience in between getting let go, quit a job, and where I am now, both in real life, and being pee’d on by the cutest puppy ever —- and that was the also a goal. So there I was, putting down the UT, talking about the last 7 years, and letting it be used for potty training our new dog.

I couldn’t be happier about both.

It was only fitting to bring Melissa along, she got me running in the first place and that has opened more doors than actual medals that hang in the garage.

It was only fitting to bring Melissa along, she got me running in the first place and that has opened more doors than actual medals that hang in the garage.


Doug Williams who wrote the story was such a pleasure to meet. He must get to meet so many more interesting people, and soak it all in. I loved he was wearing his fitbit, so I inquired. I love hearing why things I do in our community, show in in real life. That’s the idea - the interview in print, well that’s just icing on the…

veggie bowl.

In health, and in the UT,

Sheri

She did it, she really did it!

I over heard it in a locker room way after the fact.

“Oh, I heard too, so are they separated, or does she even know?”.

My ears perk up as I change, I am very quite. I recognize the voices and it does not take me long to realize who they are talking about. “She” is my best friend, and I can be very nice, but not weak, but strength in this moment, was a deep breath and being quiet. There was no point. To give energy to anything of this nature, was not productive, nor helpful. Just a reminder that it’s someone life, we probably know very little about, how would be want to be spoken about - speak that way.

We took these photos, I had scheduled anyways, before there was book, before she had created a brand called Tru Life. Funny how that works out.

We took these photos, I had scheduled anyways, before there was book, before she had created a brand called Tru Life. Funny how that works out.

I said nothing, I just listened, and dressed, and thought it was sad people have nothing more passionate to talk about than other people, and if I had piped in, it would be kind. It’s not my place, it wall works out in the end, how it is suppose to.

Actually, no that is not correct. It works out even better.

If you want to just stop reading my rambling here and get her book, I’ll be quiet, HERE you go. or www.trulifewellness.com because while she has two young children, a full time job, we managed a trip to Bali, in the middle of divorce, she started a business too. Typical.

If we know one another in real life, even in social media life, in some form or fashion, professionally, or personally, you’ve seen a glimpse of some of my friends. Aren’t they amazing? Beautiful inside and out, male and female.

I pinch myself most days too, as many of my friends are really big rock stars, impacting communities or companies, top of their field/ industry/ sport , influential, successful, speakers, celebrities, philanthropists, happy, the list goes on. I look around the room sometimes, like “whose the crack-slipper here?” - Me!: I keep friends very intentionally - good ones, ones that speak highly when I am not present, ones who make me aim to be a better person. If you are reading this, we are friends.

However, I have a couple, best-friends. People I see more often, just by way of life. I’ve read you can tell a lot about your well-being by the 4 or 5 people you see most. If so, good news for me.

Adding “Author” to my list of friends. Not just any friend. The friend that people ask “are you grils, sisters?”.

I’m flattered by that question by the way. I won’t get into the fact that would make me the shorter, not as blue-eyed, non-legal professional, one. She has two really rad sisters, who share her with me, Hi (A)manda and Marsha!

How do I know her? Simply put, she was in my spin class over 10 years ago. While I started over both personally - ugly cry break up (phew and grateful later), (at 29) and professionally, pretty sure she and her (then) husband paid for more than few of my single-girl dinners, race entries, and things like that when I was let go, and later, quit a job. I had this best friend, Melissa (better known as Mel in my world), doing the whole “get married, work, have beautiful children” plan, who was always a little bit ahead of me in checking the life boxes. She was also always supporting my rise, my clubs, groups, sponsorship, classes, accolades, my career, even got me to sign up for a marathon not knowing how many miles that even was! So, only because she did, and friends don’t let friends train for marathons alone, I again signed up and well, now there are a lot of medals hanging up in the garage.

Last 18 mile run before Chicago 2017

Last 18 mile run before Chicago 2017

So that was 10 marathons, 3 Boston Qualifiers, ago, and a LOT of miles and open doors later - for me. I’d like to think it’s for us both, and if I can hold or door or two for her, great, but there is no way to ever say, “Thanks Mel”.

Of all the races, getting to see Mel (and Jenny and Kate) come to SeaWheeze (lululemon’s half marathon) was my favorite of all of our races

Of all the races, getting to see Mel (and Jenny and Kate) come to SeaWheeze (lululemon’s half marathon) was my favorite of all of our races

This whole time, as life happened, we would run together. For the first couple of years, I probably introduced her to people as “my running partner”, to which she’d smile and say “I am also Sheri’s “friend” (air quote), Melissa” - and flash her million dollar white tooth smile.

She is so much more than my running partner or friend.

Fast forward to the last couple of years. She tells the story best, and it’s one of things that if you met her today, and I hope you do, you would think “wow, she is doing so well, she went through all of that ?”.

YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW BY LOOKING WE’RE FIRST TIMERS TO SCOOTERS, TO BALI, TO THE FACT HER DAD LIFE HAD JUST BEEN UPSIDE DOWN, AND HERE WE ARE.

YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW BY LOOKING WE’RE FIRST TIMERS TO SCOOTERS, TO BALI, TO THE FACT HER DAD LIFE HAD JUST BEEN UPSIDE DOWN, AND HERE WE ARE.

The thing is, when she started to write, coming out of the darkest days of her life plans being turned upside down, she wrote with the intent, to help both herself and one anyone who can relate, and have hope that happiness is possible, the unknown can be exciting, and freeing. Her path has had lots of good parts and people, and I know she wishes them the best too.

Guess why you’ll be glad you’re not my friend?

It happened for her. To the point my poor friends, when they are at they deepest,darkest, lows, sad, the worst, (for the most part), I know in my heart, so much good is going to come from this. Just sometimes, you need to be bummed for a minute or five. While I wish I could speed that up, I can’t.

There is no manual to read on how to support someone you love going through a very hard life time, one thing after another. Whether it be illness, death, betrayal, addiction, the list in endless, but instead, you know it’s their journey to live, you can just try your best to feel it too.

Empathy vsSympathy.  Empathy is the ability to experience the feelings of another person. It goes beyond sympathy, which is caring and understanding for the suffering of others. Both words are used similarly and often interchangeably (incorrectly so) but differ subtly in their emotional meaning. I think it’s easier to be empathetic if it’s someone you love, to the point, I’d be furious sometimes (quietly), frustrated knowing she deserved so much more, wonder when is this over, and just so sad for her at times I couldn’t sleep, but it has to get so bad sometimes, that the only option is better.

Meanwhile, mid divorce, she helped me get married, her two little girls were in our wedding, though I opted for no attendants, just these two NIKE wearing littles.

Mel and girls.png

I knew she’d get through it, but boy did she even surpass just how “through it”, i thought she’d get. I am not surprised at all, how high and how strong, she would (and continues) to rise, taking us all with her. It’s kinda like mile 24, it’s hard, but it too passes. She’s been dragging me along for great things since I was 26 or 27.

Well, here we are, post a whole lot. It’s interesting to read as the friend, living it all once removed, but she is so good with her words. We cried, we learned, and even went to Bali, because like that darn first marathon, she suggested that too.

So whatever moves you to support her book, order for a friend, you to become part of her, and my (fan club) story.

Maybe you like learning about how real people overcome life adversity.

Maybe you are that person stuck, or in that low place

Maybe you know someone who too, could benefit from the reminder that a change is scary but staying is scarier.

Maybe you would like to re frame a past relationship or heartbreak.

Maybe you just want to live your best.

Maybe you and I have crossed paths, and if so, it’s only because I have had Melissa in mine.

This is what she has created, and she tells it best and it’s my sincere pleasure to be able to share, in my own small way, so we can all be a part of her next chapter, her happier than imagined, ending.

Mels book.jpg


I wrote this book…

to share my story—the struggles, the victories and the learnings. I suffered betrayal, loss, hopelessness, death and severe heartbreak. It was unpleasant and painful at times but through adversity I found growth. I discovered self-love, self-acceptance, authenticity and to face fear determined to live a life true to myself. My defining moment came on a retreat in Bali when I realized the spirit and magic of that island had taken me on an unexpected path to heal my heart. - Melissa Press

Thank you for taking the time, supporting her, to support others, and wherever this journey takes her, I am sure one PROUD, lucky, friend (and still the running partner).

As of this week, 11/1, she is now my north county San Diego neighbor, coming full circle, as I started fresh, moved just houses down from her in 2010 and began my own best life, so now, here we are, and she is no doubt, living hers. (and we still run - Hi from the crew on 11.3.18) just don’t tell the lifeguards. (Oh Kate :).

run club.jpeg

Side note, maybe one day, we’ll add a chapter “by the friends”. I kid, but we will be there, watching, cheering and taking all the good things coming to her, she so deserves.

xo

The (really proud and amazed) best friend,

Sheri

Melissa Press’s book is here: https://trulifewellness.com/book/

or on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1732717206






Birthdays, Goal & Gut Check, Puppies, Babies, - Is This Really Sheri?

Last sunset at 36, never gets old.

Last sunset at 36, never gets old.

10/10 each year I start a new lap around the sun. I actually love birthdays, more so to asses what’s occurred in a year. In one week, I celebrated a friend who passed at vow renewal, a friends grandma passed, a family heart scare, and all reminders that life so short, celebrate it.

My last Sunday at 36, I joined Kellie, top fundraiser in San Diego for Pancreatic Cancer, for the second year in a row, in memory of her Father Peter, because… we all want more birthdays. Congratulations Kellie!


I also feel a bit overwhelmed, (what are you doing for your birthday x 100?) leading up to it, so I took the day off meetings/work, and just planned a sunrise hike, and if you texted or messaged, I’m getting there, I didn’t want to spend the day on my phone. I want to do “nothing” planned as my schedule can be pretty “on”. I love every day like it’s my birthday. The quality (and quantity) of those wishes, is surreal a bit, and I am grateful this is a “good” issue to have.  Thank you so much for sending me love, I do notice.

I also go to yoga when I’m feeling this sense of overwhelmed, so Melissa (TRU LIFE) joined me at the Monday night One Love Movement Series, taking place all month @ Tower 23 Hotel in Pacific Beach. Next one is 10/15 Julia! HERE. A perfect last Monday at 36!

If you went to charity yoga with this cutie and there is no photo, did it even happen?

If you went to charity yoga with this cutie and there is no photo, did it even happen?

So, thanks universe for reminding me on my birthday eve, that my health, above all else, is my #1 priority. I have to put it before my marriage (to be a good partner). Before the list of “get to do’s”, before my career, finances, friends, community.  I miss things for runs, pass on dinners for yoga, firmly. It’s carried over into recent doctor appointments recently, saying “no, thank you” to things I want to do, and even some healthy carbs at night. I know, right.?

Long story short, I was very sick from something I ate, but it really reminded me how easy it is to cancel everything and come back to what’s important. My sweet gfs that I was hiking with came into my bedroom the next morning, flowers and cards, gifts and smiles, (after they ran which I love). My husband had stopped for some electrolyte water. That was better than any cake.

Run friends know, low-sugar gummies? Less sugar for this girl!

Run friends know, low-sugar gummies? Less sugar for this girl!

 That day, I reread the vision for my life I wrote at a goal setting afternoon a year ago my girl friends, back on 11/26/2017. We don’t start with goals, we start with our values and priorities. I also do this for most group goal settings I facilitate, we start with some form of what we are grateful for currently, defining personal priorities, before goals, and before goals, your values. Values act as sort of guiding rudder below the water of your “boat” and the sails just guide you, well you just adjust and adapt, with the wind.

By nature, we (in this case I) notice what’s not checked off, or accomplished, and truth is, it’s not a end all -be all, hard deadline, but part of my “vision” I want for my life isn’t really going to happen unless I make something happen!

Part of it read “its the end of 2019 we (meaning Jason and I – I have to factor in I’m not in this solo anymore) have King Charles Caviler (I’ve wanted from for  years but am responsible about it), and that working from home part time I am able to make sure she is loved, walked, and cared for. We have a child too. There’s that. Hmm. So there I was sitting there 37, home with food poisoning, still talking about a puppy, and working the later.

So, I thought, I know my values, here’s my priorities, and if my vision included those things above, well then….?

Maybe these are good questions for you to define for yourself (before January, or tomorrow) too:

1.      Values (what’s important to you that never changes). Trust. Love. Faith, Higher Power, Commitment. Honesty. Kindness. Success. Etc.

2.      Priorities (what’s most important now – and it may change) and “why” is it important.

3.      Day Check - Look at your calendar, circle things that fall in line with your priorities. Schedule what’s important. Remove the rest.

4.      Goals – merely written to create milestones (there are lots of tips on how to set strong goals), deadlines, and short-term progress. I’d could spend hours.

5.      Accountability – a trusted person(s) to share with, support in ways you can define (in this case both effect and include Jason - adjustment for those who do things their way)

-        Some companies bring in goal coaches, I do it San Diego and love these work days, and some people have their own personal coach. I have coach my own too, she is tough, a personal life trainer and I still need to grow!



10/1/15, 3 years ago, leading goals with so many leaders and friends, in different places now, because they dared to vision it.

10/1/15, 3 years ago, leading goals with so many leaders and friends, in different places now, because they dared to vision it.

Some one asked the other day “what you didn’t register for Boston (take that promotion, go on that trip?), you qualified!” – It’s not important to me right now so I wasn’t fazed at all. “It allows someone to run who is excited to go”.  Even today, my friends ran ten miles like we normally do, and I joined for 7, as I had committed to something of a topic that’s important to me. Supportive aren’t they? When you know your priorities, I feel like we need to explain ourselves less, and easier to assume everyone else is doing the best they can.

It seems to work for me, or my “goal friends” to rank them in order of most important, to less important, because there are only 24 hours in a day, and each day is not allocated to just one priority.

What if you (I) schedule those priorities / remove what’s not important (or you don’t want to do, or are doing to be liked, please someone, etc). There are still 3 months to do it, fresh start tomorrow, or right now. So, I treated myself like a “goal friend”. I’d rather be a “I learned” then “what if” or “when I’m ready”.

I interviewed a couple of King Charles puppy Breeders. There is a lot of not ethical things I’ve learned, and there are also good people, healthy dogs, not just used to create more, when there is an excess in shelters. I went. I don’t need to know when, but I did need to start the process, to make that vision a reality and accept the twist and turns along the way. It was SO hard to leave. I’m in love. It’s bad (in a good way!)

KCCs are wonderful for visiting elderly people who don’t have visitors, and kids, they love to be pet (and kissed!)

KCCs are wonderful for visiting elderly people who don’t have visitors, and kids, they love to be pet (and kissed!)

 

This weekend…

I usually say “no thank you” to weekend obligations that do not directly pull at my heart strings or that I haven’t planned to host, but when Rady’s Copley Psychiatric Department for Mental Disorders center shared how many San Diego youth are affected by things like anxiety, depression, ADHD, and other biological mental disorders, I know we need preventative well being. I said “yes”. Read about how the center will support the children, and families. If you have family or loved mental issues, depression, bipolar, or other mental wellbeing that can be crippling and so tough, so what if they had resources, and good help, not just prescriptions, but ongoing support. This was a pit in my stomach to read:

  • Nationally, 12 teens die each day as a result of self-harm and suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among people age 10-24 in the U.S.

  • “Teens in San Diego suffer the highest rate of suicide in the state,” said Dean Dwyer, President and CEO of the Copley Foundation. “

 It’s not what we know, or say, it’s what we do, how we live. Let’s TALK about it and Do something…so we did:

 Katie B (b_inspired) lead yoga and Tee Parrish, lead a workout, I just make it fun, and take photos (??). It’s ok.

Tee Parrish, lead bootcamp at #bewell La Jolla, she’s been an inspiration to me since I was 25.

Tee Parrish, lead bootcamp at #bewell La Jolla, she’s been an inspiration to me since I was 25.

If you would like to donate or join the auxiliary HERE or building and cause, it’s HERE

This little one belongs to the owners of Rush La Jolla and she is born on 10/10 Too! Also NOt a Party Animal - like me. So Old.

This little one belongs to the owners of Rush La Jolla and she is born on 10/10 Too! Also NOt a Party Animal - like me. So Old.

Join me this month for two birthday parties (that are important to me). Ok they aren’t “my” birthday parties, but they will add life to your years!

CAF - 10.21.18, La Jolla Cove. The Best Day in Tri, 25th Anniversary (HERE)

Fitibt Local – so excited for this one! Costumes, cardio, the UTC shopping center (mall), lululemon, DJ Kanoya! RSVP HERE. @MikeSherbakov and I really LOVE leading these free monthly workouts!

The family piece, I have no idea if it will be easy to concieve, difficult, we’ve heard all the stories, I’m 37, but I’m doing what I can to learn about myself, and even acupuncture and holistic hormones and nutrition, with Kayleen at Holistic Zen, (in Encinitas - she’s wonderful!!) helps with sleep, cycles, everything! It’s hard to write down things that may not happen in the way we want, or at all. I learned about my thyroid being off, I’ve learned a lot, and that’s scary, but the scariest things are also very exciting, and are part of what makes life, living every day, not just being alive.

If it’s important to me, to Jason, we have time, we can make it happen.

If it is important to you, you have time, and you have time, you are blessed, make the most of every second doing things that move your needle.

You can be nice about it, but you have time, and when you’re too busy, your angels give you a stomach bug to slow you down to re-read your goals (that you wrote down right?)

Let’s finish this 2018.

Best year yet – 37, I love the switch-up, and better sleep (thanks Kayleen) already.

Sheri-5.jpg

 

xo

A Note To Women In Business. Thank You San Diego Voyager Magazine

SEPTEMBER 17, 2018

Meet Trailblazer Sheri Matthews Kimmel

To accept or not accept. That was the question I asked myself. Thank you Lauren for thinking of me, she’s doing her own unique things. I thought,

Everyone gets asked to do this

That was my first thought. I know right. On a walk that evening, I told Kate about the interview inquiry- thing. She agreed, “Oh yep, I got that email too.”. See, I was right. Though she is a rock star, doing her own things, run coaching, has a lifestyle blog, inspires others (and me) by the ways she sees the world and shows up in real life. You know her as @socalrunnergal. To me, it’s Kate. Always up to meeting great people type of Kate-things. We run together over the years, and I sort of feel like a big-sister ish at times, maybe being older, bust mostly see her grow and do incredible deserved things, but now we are not-just-running friends. Long story short, she got it too.

Anyway, it got me thinking, about my answers to the questions asked by San Diego Voyager Magazine. Maybe, just maybe, it would resonate with someone or my three friends who actually read my way-to-long answers. Either way.

Here it is in full Q & A if you are interested to know what they asked, and why I deleted the answers and started over.

SHERI-19.jpg
logo.png

Sheri, let’s start with your story. We’d love to hear how you got started and how the journey has been so far.
The truth is, I answered these questions, then deleted it all. Every answer. Who am I to be answering questions about “trail blazing”. I wanted to think about it and I suppose I recall the time my now husband said to me in 2013 as I quit my job, at one company “you can’t just create your own position”. That was it, and exactly what I was going to do, and did (not overnight) take what I had learned, my resources and connections along the way, and share with many companies who desire to add value to their employees lives. Thank you, Jason. Smart guy, right? I can think of a lot of people I would suggest you interview before myself – so maybe my little niche will help a reader in some way.

How did I start? – small. I really believed in myself first, and I think it starts there, be crazy enough to think it’s possible. “Impossible becomes I’m possible.” I did things I loved, and I shared. I invited people, I gave my time, I volunteered doing things in my field, without expectation of a return. I aligned myself with people and things I believed in, and who believe in me when I have doubts.

No matter what job, (politics, HR, Accounting) I collected and kept good people and maintained relationships. The people you meet, help you along the way, and vice versa, that’s what it all about. They became part of a story. Maybe I volunteered with a nonprofit or lead a group back in the day, now I can share those opportunities with large companies. I did things like goal setting for a small group of 50, but those people all work somewhere locally, so now, I do it for 200 of their colleagues. Start small. But as each day goes by.

In a nutshell, you can look back at the twists and turns and be grateful. I checked off the cookie cutter milestones highschool, college at USD as a work-study scholarship student, then at 21 my first “job” and each manager or boss I had, either inspired me or taught me how I was going to lead differently – so everyone and everything provided lessons. I have a lot of respect for people in HR or any business role, and thankfully am able to help those people in my role now. It helps me relate. If someone goes home from work and says to a friend or spouse, “guess what my work is doing for me – standing desk, or their matching our volunteer hours with vacation…” then, I did my behind the scenes job well.

It has been anything but smooth, but really those hardest, even darkest moments of doubt, even failure as we define it, really were ways to change my course to get me into wellness consulting. It’s my larger goal to have San Diego, not silicon valley, at all size companies, leading wellness.

I joined groups of found people inspiring, I volunteered, I invested time in my own personal growth and I attacked that I suppose, so anyone in my path, past, present, and future, is a mirror of me. I look at the people in my life and think “wow – jackpot”. If you look around and are not inspired, kindly find some new ones. Invest in education, training, and skills that no one can take from you, learning is powerful, and then you have more to offer anyone in your world.

Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
If it were smooth I’d still be in the same assistant job I had 21, stressed, tired, even cried when I messed up a white house invitation, (it’s almost funny now) but no one wants to be exactly where they are now next year. I was once a young woman, and to some, I am a young woman, so any advice, hmmm… I’ll share advice I was given by an amazing woman if my life and she said “not every flower is for your garden, and every garden needs manure” when I have received some pretty personally harsh feedback, that was probably right. Awesome – it made room for more of my kind of flowers.

My advice – that everyone will give you advice, for you to relate, learn from their path but you are unique so you can only apply other people’s experiences to your own. Seek it out from people you admire, but tell them why you are asking. Then, go live it. I’d go out with friends less, I’d spend less money on things that don’t matter, and I’d learn more. I’d more say have people you admire, respect them, see what they do, say, how they live, and then do you – no one can be another me, I can’t be another Oprah. Right? Really though, “do” show up, make it happen, work for it, try it, fail, learn, be someone who gets asked for advice later, but no one wants a “know it all”, then just listen, ask questions. If you are a lucky enough to have thought of what it is you’d always wanted to do, or place to go, but have not, that’s even further along than folks who have no idea “what am I doing here?”. I hope you pursue it, if anything, makes life interesting, and boy is it short! I ran into a lifelong friend recently, and she is 6 stars out of 5, and I think she’d be doing a disservice to her own purpose and legacy to play small. She has a gift. Want to know a secret? We all do.

Even this question posed “what advice you could give a young woman”, puts women in a group of their own, so if we want to be on an even playing field, I make the question “what advice would you give a younger person starting their career?” I just gave the book “The Confidence Code For Women” by Katty Kay to some of best girlfriends and some of my goal coaching clients, so again, while some of the advice pertains to anyone in business, much is directed to women. I hope one day the sequel reads “The Confidence Code For Career People”.

Whether 21 finishing college, excited to find a “job” or 66 and transitioning or thinking of a new role or field, your major does not matter, the field you’ve been in for 10 years does not matter, but what does matter is who you are, how you show up, what you have learned from wherever you started.

Best advice:
Sorry. Don’t be sorry. Unless you have been hurtful, out of line, or genuinely need to apologize, then use the word “sorry” and apologize. By starting a conversation, an email, even a text with “sorry…” and then whatever follows it. For example, “hey Sheri, so sorry this is later than expected, I know you have a lot going on…” You’ve already devalued yourself, and it breaks my heart how much I hear, or see this. I’m sure I have done it. Or “hey sorry, I was with a client or in a meeting or building homes in Syria”. Don’t’ be sorry, that’s awesome! I want to know you’re adding value to whatever you’re doing, not have you apologize.

Instead of sorry, valuing your worth with something like “Thank you for your time, Sheri… ”. Or “I am excited about the potential to collaborate, thank you for patience as I had prior commitments to fulfill.” You get it, be genuine, but not sorry for having an idea, option, email or something amazing to add.
While we are on advice…

Get AAA. (Triple A car service) I can’t tell you to have many times they’ve fixed a tire, jumped my car, man in my life or not, I still call AAA. Best $40 I spend all year. The tow truck guys become your saving grace.
Oh yes, one more – wear a hat, wear sunscreen. You’ll thank me later. I can’t believe I used tanning beds back in the day. Talk about priorities out in left field.

Notice how most people’s advice, comes from their own journey? It’s personal, everyone has a story so life is your chance to right yours, I’m only 1/3 in!

Sorry not sorry, yes I have AAA, the people who I give time and where spend it, are very intentional, and my hat game is strong, I have at least 4 in my car at all times, because if you forget, I got you (and your beautiful face) covered.

Alright – so let’s talk business. Tell us about Sheri Wellness Consulting – what should we know?
I get up so excited each day, to make sure YOU like going to work too! In an organic nutshell – I consult with many of San Diego’s (and beyond), healthiest, happiest workplaces to ensure their employees thrive from being at work.

As a Corporate Wellness Consultant, I ensure that companies are doing their part to better the lives of their biggest asset: employees. From fun to health, to environments, it’s never boring.

As a speaker, I facilitate topics that create changes in thinking and behaviors

As a goal coach/ life planner, I help couples, individuals, and groups pause, to make sure their life is on a course they are fulfilled and proud of. , many organizations.

( You can skip to the next question if you’re board – really that’s what I “do”).

I love bringing my relationships with lifestyle brands – so on weekends, you’ll find me volunteering, raising awareness, leading fitbit local with super Mike, or attending an amazing friends passion projects.
In a time when “corporate wellness” is on the rise, and some companies are ahead of the curve, and some are catching on, I have had the opportunity to work with brokers who not only provide health insurance to San Diego companies, but believe in supporting their clients with me as the wellness consultant. Both Willis Towers Watson, in La Jolla, doesn’t just say they support wellness programs, they really do, by allowing me to provide wellness consulting and up to date resources for their clients. It has given me so much experience from law firms, to health care, to hospitality companies. SSA Insurance Services in Carlsbad, also really believed in preventative wellness their clients, even those with less than 100 employees, so it’s wonderful to work with local brokers who allow me to strengthen corporate wellness programming. We recently hosted an educational “wellness” workshop to teach company representatives what’s trending and how to succeed.

What gets me out of bed, is knowing that employees do not have to loathe going to work, and organizations can place that help someones wellbeing, not just earn a paycheck, their mental, spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical well being. Wouldn’t you want to work somewhere who values you? Me too, and I had experienced the “job” that did not. The companies that understand investing in people will have exponential, and sometimes hard to measure, returns, are my best clients!

The things I use to do as a side hustle, now often support large companies and wellness programs that I consult, from healthy vending and apps to fit bits (we started fitbit local in San Diego in 2015 and it’s still going strong), Lululemon put me through goal setting and coaching, that now I can provide at companies, and places I volunteer all over town are looking for organizational help, so I merely introduce them too. So, as your consultant, you might get a 5’ 2” to the blonde woman, but you are about to see how you get an entire plethora of resources in my pocket, and I genuinely feel a purpose by getting to share with companies.

I feel honored to present, not to talk about what I know, but facilate and interact with a group to get them to see what they know. Getting someone who says they have to leave early, so engaged, they stay, and later say they made a life change, that gets me excited. So my communications degree and years of teaching spin and large free fitness group comes in hand in a boardroom or on a panel too.

What’s the most important piece of advice you could give to a young woman just starting her career?
Before she (or he) asked me, I’d want to know what’s most important to them? I sat down with a young USC grad the other day, and instead of her asking my journey, I asked her about what she wants. After all, that’s what she is looking for “what to do”. I think many of us have stayed in roles or taken jobs for the wrong (personal) reasons. So, ask yourself “what’s most important to you?” (not what your parents or anyone else think).

Is it Money? We have to have it. I have had friends making 6 figures out of college – loathe their job, their health suffered, and some loved it.

Is your role or purpose– you found your calling doing XYZ.
Is it the company’s purpose? You have pride in what your company does or provides.
Is it the culture? Google, for example, the job role aside, the office and perks and wellness are a draw!
Location – proximity to where you want to be, the best job ever with a 2-hour commute both ways, may not be an idea.
Role – what is you are doing, are you skilled in it and do you care and enjoy it?
Leadership and Colleagues – is it who you work for and with that is important to you?

Then, what’s most important in your life, for anyone who works. Work is going to take a big chunk of time, but truly is it first on your list of priorities. My daily life starts first and foremost with my health, It’s not negotiable, so I can do everything in my day, my best. Even my marriage, career, it’s comes after it. My own list of priorities (5 seem to works for me), it’s one thing to list it, but to live by it, means I get up, walk, do my thing, say no to other things, miss things for yoga. Non- negotiable. I will be a better consultant because of it. I will be kind, patient, clear headed. That may not make your list, and that is ok but I define it, and own it.

When I have the pleasure of speaking at companies or to groups, often times, we do that exercise – because someone living their best life is a better employee right?

"How's Married Life?" - 365 Days & Life Is Too Short

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How’s married life? – everyone.

I smile – “it’s really good you guys, I feel lucky. It’s just “life”. Does it, and will it, have it’s “plot twist” moments – of course.

A lot can happen in year. It does fly by. We flew all over. I even flew to Bali with my best friend, my husbands best friend, and he was so supportive of us all going, to go grow. That's my husband. Even in year one, making me love him even more.

We started a tradition to only give each other a card on 9.2 since we exchanged them on 9.2.17 and I maybe buy way too many cards in a year. Each year we’ll save them and in 100 years we’ll have 101 cards x 2. Mine for him is awesome - wait for it. 

                             I got the one on the right, but pretty sure he'll appreciate the turth on the left.

                             I got the one on the right, but pretty sure he'll appreciate the turth on the left.

Doh. 2 cards. We made the rules so they are evolving 

To answer my own question, “how’s married life” logically, I interviewed him, because I am only half of the  "married life” and he is a really good sport, seriously I think he loved it. I may not have told "I'm I was going to write about it", until question 3. In which I wondered if he'd answer with something I'd rather forget. Aren’t you glad you didn’t marry me?

The joke is on me with all the questions. Ask and you shall receive...an answer out of left field!

When I work with private “goal-friends” my term for the incredible people who I work with one on one or remotely to realign their life path, career shifts, goals, or general personal, health, and overall wellbeing, there are times they do some interviewing, of themselves, and others in their life. The answers often blow them away. Again, jokes on me.

So…I practiced what I preach I suppose. Totally waited until 4:15 PM on 9.1.17 – procrastinated because of w/o a deadline, guess what happens. I too put it off until it's urgent, even it's important and fun.

Wedding- there was that. We did have one, a small in numbers, big in love, one. Jase wrote wine region tables, together we wrote notes, we had his Grandma read, I wore my own Grandma's pearls, a handmade veil by Jenny's Mom, just special things. Not a lot of things that are expected, but tried to stick to things we wanted. 

                                                                                                      Hottest 9.2 on Record - So The TESTS BEGIN. It was AWESOME.

                                                                                                      Hottest 9.2 on Record - So The TESTS BEGIN. It was AWESOME.

From the outside looking in it was gorgeous, but 100% thanks to Jason’s parents, because we didn’t really want, or have the means for this sort of celebration. We suggested getting married with our parents at the vineyard, and simply being married. Enter Susanne at Crown Weddings, classiest planner ever, who does her thing to make Kimmel Vineyards come to La Jolla.   

From this inside it was special. Every person there was in support of it, I believe that with all my heart.

I feel good that that was the goal – the marriage. The most beautiful part - the people who made fun and incredible to share this day with so many people we love. Not a week goes by I don’t look at a photo (thanks Joey and April - photo friends!) or replay our vows and am SO glad we were fortunate to have this day.

So Jase, (aka (JK) for this purpose), "can you mute that, please"? (Maybe not ideal on day 1 of college football – just informed clearly not my thing). Technically that's was just first question.

JK – sure sweets

What was your favorite memory this year as a husband and wife duo?

JK – do you mean like a trip, or in general?

SMK – (laughs), a question to my question. There is no wrong answer. I say a question and you say an answer. So... fave memory... 

JK – Paris, together. (I smile - my fave city). We joined Jason's parents in Beaune after Paris - and they are great travel compaions.

We had a lot of wine tastings lined up, it's Jason's Disney land. Mine is a park and picnic with quiet view. We biked there, guess who picked that one and also crashed her bike? 

We had a lot of wine tastings lined up, it's Jason's Disney land. Mine is a park and picnic with quiet view. We biked there, guess who picked that one and also crashed her bike? 

What helped most with wedding planning?

JK – The wedding planner (super quick answer and laughs)

SMK – Lol! Her name is Susanne, and that's true! I was very hands-off, let her do her thing so I can do all my other things. 

Also SMK - deciding what was important to each of us, and what we didn’t care as much about to not sweat it. Officiant, promises to his Grandmas, and having my Aunt and Uncle (58 years married) join our dance- I totally cared. Course #2 and the chairs - couldn't tell ya, still don't care much and I know it was beautiful

What you were most proud of?

JK – You, you were so composed

If any of our family or small group of friends want to hear our vows  - it's what I loved! HERE you go.

SMK – Me, oh wow, thank you. He means the day of because I had some moments that we veered from why we were doing this in the first place. It became about other people and I dig my heels in pretty well if I feel strongly.  I'm proud of me too, for marrying such a class act.

Wrote my vows down, but winged it. I speak better from the heart. I am proud of Mike too -like he'd done it 1000 times. 

Wrote my vows down, but winged it. I speak better from the heart. I am proud of Mike too -like he'd done it 1000 times. 

What’s the funniest thing time or thing we have had since 2013?

JK – when you had an adult accident (he is laughing out loud!) ** accept he didn't say it that nicely. Blowouts are what babies have Jase - for the record, we'll go with the adult accident.

SMK – gasp, Jase. Really? Not standing outside with wine on a chair in Paris? (I can’t not laugh). Which time? Running or the white work pants? (now regretting not saying, hey I think Ill share these questions).

He was so determined to try this place when they had NO seats, he got a chair and a wine bucket and stood outside until they'd seat him. Deadicated. I proceed to die laughing.

He was so determined to try this place when they had NO seats, he got a chair and a wine bucket and stood outside until they'd seat him. Deadicated. I proceed to die laughing.

What’s your biggest hope for year 2?

JK – to become parents

SMK – (smiles) that's good **I am not pregnant, kudos to everyone who has ever tried or been. I was going to say a puppy?

I will have this dog. Well, not this one, the owners may not like that, but similar.

I will have this dog. Well, not this one, the owners may not like that, but similar.

 

What’s your favorite thing we do repeatedly or tradition?

JK – Christmas decorations, but can we get a real tree this year

SMK – (what? Lol) Anyone need a skinny fake tree with white lights? Interviews on our anniversaries? 

Favorite chore?

JK – swiffering (I knew this)

SMK - I will never-not (double negative I know) appreciate having my own washer and dryer  - a dream! Also a dream - a husband who swiffers.

What do you remember most about 9.2.17 (wedding day)?

JK – Our first dance

SMK – Really? Wow! (surprised – but not buying it) I thought he’d say Melissa or 92 year Nana dancing it up. What was the song?

JK – (laughs) Suit and Tie by JT (I kinda love he knows Jusitn Timberlake by JT)

SMK – ha ha, kinda of, it was “In Case you Didn’t Know” and we turned into JT – and you were awesome and I know you did that for me!

Jase was a little concered about busting out JT after this, so our friends had their nanny come over at 9PM the night before with Justin Timberlake moves, it was not looking promising. He must have praticed in his sleep - he nailed it!

Jase was a little concered about busting out JT after this, so our friends had their nanny come over at 9PM the night before with Justin Timberlake moves, it was not looking promising. He must have praticed in his sleep - he nailed it!

For the record though, Nana at 92 (Kimmel Vineyards side, Jim's Mom) definately taught Jase all his moves...

Typical dinner break. Nana (blue) is not about to miss out. I talk about her in large group settings often. 

Typical dinner break. Nana (blue) is not about to miss out. I talk about her in large group settings often. 

Any tips for newlyweds since we’re oh so experienced now? (enter sarcasm here)

JK- put yourselves first, something we’re working on

SMK – get rid of his white shorts before you get married. (he laughs- phew)

I mean, reread or re-watch your vows often to remember why you get go have each day together and are you upholding your promises

I head upstairs so he can carry on watching college football and Seanni is coming over.

JK - Sweets don’t I get to ask one? (as I'm almost up the stairs, pretty standard to yell from room to room  #amiright?)

SMK – Oh yes sure! What do you want to ask? (I’m waiting for “do we have any Siete chips?)

JK – What do you like most about me?

SMK – Just one thing? How much you have grown as man since I met you, your patience and our ability to find gratitude in things. And that you support my goals. And that you call me sweets. And…

JK – You’re right (he pipes in) – I think I have grown.

** not to self, keep is simple.

How cute is that – he’s my practice "goal-friend".

To Debby and Jim, my bonus parents, thank you for raising and sharing Jason. It is a daily life dream come true.

Guys, we did it! Love your son. xo

Guys, we did it! Love your son. xo

To anyone reading – thank you, being married is one day at a time, that turns into a life, kind of like life. I know I he shares my time, and love, with many, but it's the time of love of many that got me to him. 

So tomorrow, think, sicne it's Labor Day, I'll "labor" away on my favorite job. Surf wife life...

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xo

Sheri Matthews So Happy To Be A Kimmel For 1 Year

Letting Go . . . Of Tiny Little Boxes & Scrolling (And a Few Bigger Things)

Oh Instagram ... Catch you when July is over.  July 5th, follows my favorite day of the year, and is sort of my 1/2 way point, an even better New Years Day!

I have tried (kind of unsuccessfully), in the past to give up Instagram last July.  Probably because "I tried". If I was serious I wouldn't try. I would just quietly, firmly ,do it.

I like seeing everyone stories, sometimes it's part of my job, shares events, or messages and it can be inspiring and education if I follow the right things and people.  

As much as I talk about how we spend our time, often wishing I had more time to read, see friends, finish projects, we all have time....and I realize how much I spend attached to my phone. So after a trip home to Paso Robles (pronounced Pass (like a football) "Oh" + bulls (like the plural cows with horns) I decided, the day after the 4th of July would be my "fresh start" without Instagram for a while.

In Paso we let go of gold rings and try to hook them to a pole. No joke. 

In Paso we let go of gold rings and try to hook them to a pole. No joke. 

The reality is, we all have very little time to make a life, to be healthy and happy and leave some sort of mark or legacy. Our parents, if all goes naturally, have even less time that we do, so if I can scroll little boxes, maybe I can spend some time doing more important things.

Shortly after we got married in September, my Dad had spinal fusion surgery, and it was complicated, and then 2 more unplanned surgeries, so long story - short, it's been a long road. Now with a walker - big improvement, I wish so much he'd make little efforts each day to get strong, eat healthily, and trust that consistency adds up vs. not doing things until you're ready. No one is very ready, just start. (my two cents).

This is how Paso looks, for miles, it's very pretty rolling hills and lots of grapes - also not quite as cool when I grew up here but awesome place to start life.

This is how Paso looks, for miles, it's very pretty rolling hills and lots of grapes - also not quite as cool when I grew up here but awesome place to start life.

On Father's day, I walked with two best friends who don't have the luxury of visiting their Fathers, so... I "get to" go home to visit. It's a new learning curve,  and tough when you (think) know what's best for a parent, or friend for that matter, but really it's up to them. Just compassion and time, and maybe live by example - any other tips? I'm all ears.

Just sitting for me is "letting go" and it was awesome. Also said "Do a roller coaster!" This is what they came up with. Not Bad.

Just sitting for me is "letting go" and it was awesome. Also said "Do a roller coaster!" This is what they came up with. Not Bad.

Dad -  So "letting go", means a lot of things, and sometimes, just letting someone gets to decide for themselves, what they do, what they accept. Can he do it? Of course, but he has to decide - and I hope one day, we aren't walking, with a walker. A walker out is better than in a center, or hospital - Ill take it!

My parents got a little rescue dog - really it rescued them, totally why it's called a "rescue dog" btw. Sissy is about 10 or 11 and so sweet. 

Back in San Diego . . .

July 4th - my favorite day of the year, beach, all the red white and blue cuteness, patriatrism, kids, dogs, bbqs, and happy smiles. 

Can every day be the 4th of July so these girls come hang out in non-sweaty luon clothes? 

Can every day be the 4th of July so these girls come hang out in non-sweaty luon clothes? 

He knows fourth of July is my favorite. Shout out to Jason for getting up extra early to save a good beach spot (and maybe prep for a week or so).

He knows fourth of July is my favorite. Shout out to Jason for getting up extra early to save a good beach spot (and maybe prep for a week or so).

Red (wine), white, and blue.

This crew connected in Bali, a special place, so extra special to have them here for the 4th

This crew connected in Bali, a special place, so extra special to have them here for the 4th

Any excuse to dress up (Sarah). Tom,  In The Back forgot, but never fear, I had a $1.99 bandanna from 7/11 he's rocking! I'm Always Happy When He Makes It!

Any excuse to dress up (Sarah). Tom,  In The Back forgot, but never fear, I had a $1.99 bandanna from 7/11 he's rocking! I'm Always Happy When He Makes It!

Spin yes I still drive to La Jolla to do it before work on Tuesday and Thursday because the people are the BEST!

...and everyone who left early contributes $1 to a the dollar fund for gifts and celebrations. Community at 5:45AM. Some call it Spin Class.

...and everyone who left early contributes $1 to a the dollar fund for gifts and celebrations. Community at 5:45AM. Some call it Spin Class.

Morning of the 4th - Little shakeout in Encinitas, we meet at the kook in our red - white- and blue. No one was out at 7:30 AM and it's so pretty!

Sam, Jenny, Nat, Moi, and a really gorgeous Encinitas low tide

Sam, Jenny, Nat, Moi, and a really gorgeous Encinitas low tide

Since Jase usually gets all the xo photos, Jim's turn. J's parent's are real troopers! @kimmel_vineyards big things! 

Since Jase usually gets all the xo photos, Jim's turn. J's parent's are real troopers! @kimmel_vineyards big things! 

I just LOVE this day. Thanks to friends who joined. I hope you had a festive happy 4th of July too. Kim and Karly - happy happy birthday!

July 5th - halfway-ish through 2018. Letting go of . . . 

Working on holidays

Being a speedy runner. sigh.

A few time drainers. The minutes, and hours, I gain back not spent on Instagram this month...I can't wait to see what happens. 

Spending too much thought on things I can't change - people I care about. Just be good company, it's their journey.

Real life things I am excited about and not letting go but jumping right in:

A workplace wellness workshop for local companies this week. Companies attending are sharing ideas, learning what's trending and experiencing some local providers. I really love my job - helping companies who care about their employees. My why: to do my best to make your love going to your job and live more "well" as a result. 

Two lunchtime corporate talks on ... living your best year. Ironic right? If I'm not doing it, how do I talk about it? It's always evolving I suppose. I'm sure I mention my own social media detox, as well as digital things that are extremely helpful. Meditation, health trackers, podcasts, the list goes on. Yep I do that HERE

July 22nd - Fitbit Local - 3 years and counting. Once a month, we get together and do some sort of awesome community workout. This month, we hike the backside of Mt. Woodson - if in SD, love to see you, it's always FREE - HERE

The book I'm finishing I want to gift woman reading this. It's called The Confidence Code. Take what you want and leave rest. Am I confident? Yes, uh well, sometimes, but no one wants to be not humble right? It was suggested to me a goal-friend (someone I worked with on her goals), who tends to seek out awesome recommendations. I was so excited I sent it to some girlfriends. There is also one for "girls" which boy I wish had at about age 13 to 19.

I'm not finished quite yet. But no Instagram for a while, so time to finish. I know... you can read it and let me know your thoughts (wink). 

I'm not finished quite yet. But no Instagram for a while, so time to finish. I know... you can read it and let me know your thoughts (wink). 

So, feel free to call, write, email, send me a letter ( I LOVE a good card!) or join me for something fun, like a beach walk - you can take all the stories and photos you'd like, no judgment, July is my "letting go" experiment.

Keeping what works, focused on what's important long-term, and changing what isn't ... happy halfway to your best year yet.

xo 

The White Balloons. Weeks & Moments Like This.

52 weeks like this. . .

Sometimes, mid-week, Jason askes me,

"Sweets, what do you have this week and weekend"? 

He is so patient. 

This means one of two things, he wants to plan a wine dinner with his wine-buds when I'm booked or he really is just asking if we get time together, so just enjoy the beach. I love both.

Hmm?  (thinking to myself ). I answer:

"The college girls at San Marcos Monday, then guest lead run club after work, then International Rescue group in EL Cajon (gotta look that one up), then, oh yes babe don’t’ forget I have the Rady’s run Saturday before we leave for Mother’s Day things."

Think he caught all that? My husband - AKA most patient person ever.

A girlfriend, (amazing I have any sometimes) said the other day “you’re the business person I know”. I was thinking “oh, sad”, I don’t want to come off that way, we all are busy, she’s a beautiful working Mom of an almost one -year old. I think that is amazing. We all have out things! 

The things that fill some of my time, always fill my heart. I invited Jason to the celebration of Champions run downtown, in 2015, my second year of being 1 of 2 guides. We had gotten back together, and I think, in that moment, he saw why I go, and how we show up on weekends, when no one is watching, and what I can’t say “no” to. It makes me better at my job. I invite companies to volunteer, have a team, or just come be inspired. So, it may not be “work” it’s all connected.

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This Saturday will be my fifth- year, 2014 -2018 (minute one, thanks Katie- I was running this lil Boston Marathon thing). My friend, Stuart, had asked me back in 2014, he’s stuck with me until forced retirement.

I even see friends, who have children, with terminal or degenerative illness as I run around, and think, “wow – that is a lot for their family to take on”.

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Some children, beat their cancer, and come back. Some don’t get to get back. That is one too many, and I hope for the year I am not asked to be a part of the Celebrations of Champions run…because it means we don’t need one.

Each year before the run, a white balloon is released in the ceremony to remember those who didn't return.

I will next forget the young woman who said "I like your pony tail".     I replied " I like your smile when you run". Because what do you say? 

I will next forget the young woman who said "I like your pony tail".   

I replied " I like your smile when you run". Because what do you say? 

So 25 – 30 children later, each one deserves their victory lap, full of energy, clapping and cheering. If we are excited, they are too. It’s their moment. The trust they have in a matter of seconds to run around me with, a few Padres, and local news personalities – who all agree, the champions are the ones holding the torch. Looking forward to Saturday, May 11th.

Last Friday, I was honored to be invited to meet youth refugees calling San Diego home. From Afghanistan to India, and now San Diego, only here three months, learning English trying to find her way. Her smile was infectious. Their stories are mind-blowing. I had to spell check Afghanistan to be honest. A smile is the same in every language

Taking care of our bodies, when life can be stressful, is not a cultural divide, it unites us.

Taking care of our bodies, when life can be stressful, is not a cultural divide, it unites us.

Man I love college. Well going back now, because if you told me at age 21, I'd speak to a group of 100s of soon-to-be-grads... - no way. 

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I suppose we all see a little of ourselves in them.

My time with each group is so minimal their doctors, nurses, teachers, or professors are dedicated 24/7, but I hope that it’s mutually beneficial.

I sure know that they inspire me, fill my cup, to be better in all things. I hope the things that fill your 24 hours fulfill you too. And if there needs to more of some things and less of another, now is a good time – after all, aren’t we lucky to have it?

What’s coming up outside of your 9 – 5

where you can join too?

June 9th – I credit many of my opportunities to my time at USD. I was on a work-study program, and a partial scholarship, and so grateful for that help.

It’s my pleasure to lead goal sweating and sweat Saturday morning June 9th, at Viori- coolest lifestyle brand store in Encinitas, before it opens. The $10 goes to scholarships for future USD students. LOVE to you friends in Encinitas HERE

A fun filled day with events all over San Diego lead by local alumns! 

A fun filled day with events all over San Diego lead by local alumns! 

June 19th – The best Fitbit Local ever.After work. 6PM. Live DJ, tri-level workout, sunset stretch with a panoramic view of San Diego. 

Location for 6.19.18 Fitbit Local - Alexan East Village. Beats by DJ Kanoya. 

Location for 6.19.18 Fitbit Local - Alexan East Village. Beats by DJ Kanoya. 

We call that “going up on a Tuesday”. It’s free. But man is it priceless.  Can’t wait. Lead by Mike Sherbakov and myself, and you. 

Love to see you, so we can make the moments that make a year. 

I Love My Job. Wellness That Works.

I Love My Job - When You Love Your Job. 

I Love My Job - When You Love Your Job. 

 "Wow, guess what we did at work today?"

The days I know someone, at a San Diego company, goes home and thinks to themselves, or asks a friend or spouse, to "guess what we did at work today!". My heart is happy. It means work - worked. 

I spent enough of my career in business, and HR, to know, the company plays a role or has a responsibility to promote an individual's wellbeing when they are at work. Truth is, I've gotten in my car, driven from my home, with so much anxiety, stress, and physical tension going into an office some days. Granted some days were great, and some companies gave me room to learn and grow, and I still keep many of the friends I made along the way, so there that. But, that sinking feeling, seeing other people put work first, let their wellbeing, health, happiness go, be tired, be resentful even - and companies not helping. That will get me fired up. LIfe is too short to not love both work-life, and life. 

Enter Corporate Wellness

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Good news: There are organizations, many right here in San Diego, leading the charge, who get it! Keep people happy, at work too - treat their "work-life" like real life. Create awesome works spaces, perks that foster good habits, healthy environments, give people skills and outlets, and guess who keeps their staff? Guess where healthy happy people want to be hired? 

Take a workplace where you have worked, or your friends spend time.

Are people happy? Do they say good morning? Are people learning new skills, being creative, and grabbing a Keifer soda or green juice on tap? Seriously, it's a thing! Do they do walking meetings? When you walk in, is it inviting? re people trusted? 

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Over the last 15 years, I've met the coolest industry professionals, speakers, health food companies, yoga experts, ergonomic providers, medication leaders, app for challenges, tech startups, fitness devices who let me give them away and provide discounts, organizations that need volunteers, the list goes on. So my "job". . . 

Share it. Share the information. Share the contacts. Share the discounts, events, and resources.

Want to do a hike? Or what about a stretch or non-scary meditation, call Melody. Yoga, call Lauren, or work-in with Julia! A speaker - the list goes on. A session on Courage - ask Ryan. An ergonomic desk or succulent wall - take your pick. A 5K or team building event? A way to volunteer? A challenge that is affordable? Awesome - the best corporate wellness programs do some of all of it.  I make sure, and it's often at a discount, but it's priceless because - I have awesome friends.

More good news. I made it my life's work to enable companies, leaders, HR, and entire organizations to make work - a place that makes you feel valued, alive and dare I say ... happy to be at work. It's possible. 

This Friday, I have collected the best resources to share with wellness ambassadors and local companies who wish to be part of the conversation.

The meeting space is gorgeous. Lunch is organic from Trilogy Sanctuary in La Jolla, with an ocean view, at 12:15PM. Meeting follows.

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While I look through the awesome swag bags (thank you local healthy products from sunscreen to snacks, essential oil kits, to 5k walks!) that's just a perk - not the reason to come, but they do rock. Kashi, Saje, Coola, SD Running Co, Mobile Massage, but I don't want to spoil it.

Instead of going to only my corporate cleints, or sharing one at a time - we've created a 4 hour workshop, with healthy lunch to do just that. Share, inspire, and equipt those who are responsible for their staff - with the tools to do just that. I can't wait. 

Join me in La Jolla 4.27 for outdoor ocean view lunch and:

  • Analysis tools for your wellness program
  • The 2018 wellness trends
  • The most modern to strengthen your organizations' program
  • Experience "play" at work with a special guest
  • Leadership breakout session
  • A work-friendly reset - special guest
  • Other wellness leaders who will share what their company is doing

I say "we". SSA- three career women who live personally healthy lives,  believe in helping their clients and organizations be well! So they are on board! They provide health benefits, but believe in preventative wellness too, my type of women! 

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I'm excited about it, knowing attendees will be inspired to go back to work, to make everyday, a little better for those who spend much of their lives, together, at work. 

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In health and happiness, 

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Dear Class Of 2018

Wear Sunscreen. Really. Wear sunscreen.

The hit monologue song when I graduated from High School in 1999 (gasp, I just realized I've lived half of my life in San Diego) was "Class of '99; Wear Sunscreen". I think I remember every word. 

I suppose much of that retrospective advice given to the "next generation" still applies today.

If the 18-year-olds, and 21-22-year-olds, had a dollar for everytime someone asked them "so, what you going TO DO now?" they could put a sizeable payment on any tuition loan, or save for their future. However, my 22-year-old self would probably buy jeans, running shoes, or a bridesmaid dress.

If I had a dollar for every time someone wants to get coffee to talk about work, or what I do, I'd be able to fund my future child's education. It's almost an informal meeting and I appreciate when the coffee-date invitee specifies "why" we should get coffee. Sometimes, I oblige, and the soon to be 2003 collegiate graduate from USD, my Alma mater, insta-messaged me often, has taken my early morning spin class, is a runner, but mostly she is persistent and kind, and well, I've been there, 22 (I was 21 at graduation, always a little behind) and who doesn't love to share advice with a driven young lady during this milestone in her life? I had lots of people who took time to help me, or offer insight, so maybe paying it forward is a good investment. She is the future.

This was in 2015, still just over here getting event with all the helpers! 

This was in 2015, still just over here getting event with all the helpers! 

I actually didn't give her any advice on how I got "into my" job I love. I invited her to class, on bikes that go nowhere, and instead asked a room of all ages, professionals and experiences, from their mid-twenties hustlers to the CEO, Presidents of anything publicly traded,

"what would you tell this 22-year-old soon-to-be graduate?  

As each individual answered, I repeated it out loud, for her to hear. Answers included:

  • Do what you love
  • Love what you do
  • Travel
  • Have fun
  • Don't' get that tattoo (we laughed)
  • Take risks
  • Save some of everything you make 
  • Believe in yourself

I asked her advice to her 22-year-old self (and for them) 

  • It all works out in the end

Meanwhile, we pedaled along, actually working but they chose the physcial drill for 1 minute. fun, right? So much better than I would have done just dictating drills on my own. That's the idea, the "together" part.

When everyone had shared their advice for the young woman who was collecting it all and taking mental notes, my next question for everyone was, 

Does the advice you gave, still apply today?

Yes, every. single. time.

Their advice had very little to do with our future grad and everything to do with their past expereince. What we have all learned was gathered by going through it, things a diploma (enter any random major), can't teach (yet). 

After class we set aside a few minutes to chat as she requested, but instead of telling her my story of ups, down, different industries, good managers, leaders I vowed not to be like, opportunities and how I ended up consulting . . .

I asked her things about her life. 

What is most important to her, right now, at 22?

Most graduates need a j-o-b. What is most important to her a job: Location, role, title, people you work with, growth, salary, brand recognition, company purpose, the list goes on.... It's a good way to weed out things that are not up her alley, instead of creating a "resume" to fit the mold, to the get the job. Any job. There is more to it than a salary for some people.  Ask those who thrive a meaningful non-profits. Or a teacher.  So it doesn't matter if the job your parents think you should have, or if you majored in it, it matters if you are going to want to go do it every day, and why. 

Ask. People like to help, to be the reason you succeed. Ed (Sheran) asked B ( first names basis right?) Beyonce for a duet. She may have said no, but she said yes, and wallah, a hit song. Glad he asked. Even before that he had to think it was even it's a possibility. 

Hindsight is 20/20 - so cliche, but true. All those things that happened us along the way, really happen for us -- which makes going through it a lot easier. Looking back, ask yourselves what you have learned from what seemed like "failures" at the time. I'm so thankful for some of my biggest failures - phew. Look what I learned.

I spoke at a healthy minds breakfast, so just like college-grad spin class, I also asked them their health advise to millennials - guess what, the same advice still applies to themselves and the future workfoce - bridging the generation divide.

I spoke at a healthy minds breakfast, so just like college-grad spin class, I also asked them their health advise to millennials - guess what, the same advice still applies to themselves and the future workfoce - bridging the generation divide.

So that thing that scares you, that excites you ...do that. I have one, you could say I worked on in 10 years and over the last couple months am doing something new with it. I prefer to be behind the scenes, helping people, help people. I'll explain. 

My husband jokes that if not for insta(gram)-stories he'd not know what I did in my "work" day. I'll take that as no two days are never the same. Truth I suppose, from client to client, helping with wellness programs, to contributing at wellness meetings, to meeting awesome vendors and experts to introduce to companies, I meet some pretty neat people. Sometimes I speak, usually from experience .  .  . often on goals as I feel qualified to help in this realm. I have Corporate wellness goals of my own - to make an impact. Lauren and Kate, I mentioned writing this in 2016 to you the other day:

I wrote a loft uncomfortably big goal on my card in 2016, because it results in companies with healthy, happy, employees. 

I wrote a loft uncomfortably big goal on my card in 2016, because it results in companies with healthy, happy, employees. 

 

So, better use of time, to share knowledge of apps, discounts, events, resources, and what works would be to invite health-minded companies to a workshop to come and learn! Wa-lah! A wellness workshop for HR and culture professionals, to come and soak up the most-up-to-date wellness related resources I've been and go back to their organization and make it a place people thrive, love to be, and feel valued. I am simply teaching the attendees to go take ownership for and credit for the success of their wellness programs. Instead of a coffee date, those that are serious about knowing one another may attend, and I get to share some really amazing resources.  RSVP for your spot / Organization HERE

I'm excited to be co-hosting and facilitating an upcoming experiential and educational 1/2 day for the person at local organizations who is responsible for wellness programming (discounts, wearable devices, challenges, ergo friendly offices, the best apps and podcasts).  This day will inspire those who attend, fill their toolbox, and to be the ripple in their office I teamed up with a smaller enthusiastic broker, SSA, who also believes that, while we have to have health insurance, wellness is the preventative element that companies who value their teams, provide.

It's a Friday, April 27th, all afternoon, lunch, ocean view, and a workshop class Trilogy Sanctuary, one of my local favorites. I have some surprises lined up that attendees will want to bring into their own offices, so instead of telling you, try a massage, hear a leadership coach. It's HEREIf you are the person for your office or have that person who would love to inspire your staff, I like no more than 25 people, so you can all meet one another. I can only be in so many offices at one time, but the best leaders create other ones, so I can't wait to share resources, perks, and what's hot in wellness with passionate companies. Attendees are from companies that value having resources for their staff to live well. My running buddies are seriously tired of hearing about the most up to date apps, national health holidays, and San Diego events, so instead I'll get to share with HR and culture leaders - for their offices. If you would like to share this with person in your office - you all win. They'll have a great time too.

For Companies in San Diego who want to be health and happy

For Companies in San Diego who want to be health and happy

Come to think of it, I suppose all those 22-year-olds deciding "what to do", which much rather work for a place where they feel valued (or there is green juice on tap) with a wellness program, and I bet they're more apt to stay, and be happy while they are there.  Same goes for the people already there. My goal personally if I work with your company, it's visible, and your staff goes home and says "guess what my company is doing for me".  They will come back, and they will be more productive and fulfilled, because of the organization they give so much time.

I don't ever promote work-life balance. I think it's more of

"work-life integration".

There is no "work" life and then a separate "home" life.

There is this one life. Let them "work" together.

If you are able to stand at work, wear a Fitbit, or get personal coaching - I bet it helps you at home. Integration. I bet you speak favorably. I bet your spouse will like your work better for caring about you. Will your health premiums go down? Well that's icing on the gluten-free cake.

Start small . . . 

Something your office buddies can do next week for $0: National Walking Day is 4/4. Organize a walk, a photo contest, a raffle for inviting a coworking. Easy, fun, and a wonderful 30-minute break. I'm a big fan of the most creative walking team name, or photo taken while walking 

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If you motivate others to walk next Wednesday,  or attend the wellness mastermind/workshop enabling your company to have the tools it will love, or if you're 22, about to graduate from college and make your mark in the world ...

Wear sunscreen. wink. 

In health, 

SMK

Schedule What's Important Instead of Prioritizing Your Schedule

Daily Habits Of Successful People: It's All About Routine


By Brian Tracy 

The most successful people all have certain habits in their daily routines. These habits help contribute to their success and can be considered good habits to form for yourself.

It could also be something more elaborate such as spending most of your morning in bed like Winston Churchill. Churchill would wake up at 7:30am daily, eat breakfast, read his mail and newspaper until 11am.

Here are the 3 steps to planning and making your daily list.

1. Plan Your Day The Night Before

Every minute spent in planning saves 10 minutes in execution. Sit down with a piece of paper and write down everything that you need to do the coming day. If for any reason you don’t do this, it should be the first thing you do every morning. When you write a list you have a track to run on.

Writing a list clarifies your thinking and goals…

Writing down a list forces you to think at a higher level…

If you start working from a list you increase you output 25% each day.

One of the habits of millionaires is that they start their day working from a list.

2. Set Priorities On Your List Before You Start The Day

Work from the 80/20 rule. If you have 10 items on your list of things to do, two will be the more important than all of the other items put together.

Go down your list and answer the question, “If I were to be called out of town for a month, what are the most important tasks that I must accomplish?”

Last fall I was out of the country traveling across 15 countries in 36 days. When I looked at my list of things to do before I left, I had to get my most important tasks done.

Once you identify these most important tasks, it brings us to the final step in starting your day.

3. Complete The Most Important Task First

Begin immediately on your most important task and focus on it and only it until completion.

All success in life comes from project completion and living a life of good habits will help you complete more projects.

A project with multiple tasks is called a “multi-task job”. This means that there are several smaller jobs to complete the larger job. Organize your jobs by sequence in a checklist and start on you most important project.

Complete the smaller jobs in you project, until the entire project is complete. This process is called “single handling” and it’s one of the most powerful things that you can use in managing your time. You can increase your productivity by 50% by planning, starting and completing your most important tasks every single day.

Conclusion

If you can develop these habits of successful people and do those three things, plan your day the night before, organize your tasks in order of importance, and complete your most important task first thing during your day. You will increase your productivity overnight.